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These are a few of my un-favourite things

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By CLAUDIA CONNELL

London - Getting a hug, wearing comfy underwear and being told you look thinner came out top in a survey to discover the simple things in life that make a woman happy. But what about the everyday annoyances that make a woman curse and rage? Here are a few of my least favourite things...

 

Catching your sleeve on a door handle

If you wanted to do this, you’d never be able to in a million years, so how come every door handle is a stealth sleeve catcher?

 

Not being able to pull your wellies off

One of life’s mysteries is why wellingtons can go on with such ease but have to be removed by a two-man team.

 

Stepping on Lego

There is no pain quite as unique as accidentally standing barefoot on Lego. It usually makes you leap back — onto more Lego and before you know it you are trapped in a world of Lego induced torture.

 

Cashpoint dawdlers

You want to withdraw £20 and go, but you are stuck behind somebody who is checking their balance, ordering a mini-statement and repeating the process on another two cards.

 

Men who sit with their legs apart on public transport

At some point in her life every woman will find herself crushed next to a man on a train who insists on sitting with his feet four feet apart while she is crunched into a corner.

 

People who use the last drop of milk

You have none for your cuppa and have to drink it black, which puts you in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

 

Men who don’t throw away empty jars

Instead, they put them back in the fridge or cupboard, luring you into thinking there is juice and Marmite when there is none.

 

Scratchy clothes labels

They rub, itch and make you seethe. You will invariably cut the label out — making a huge, great hole in your new jumper.

 

The ‘stand still’ brigade

These are the people who get to the top of an escalator and stop. Undoubtedly the same people who also stop dead in the middle of a pavement or a shop doorway.

 

‘Peel here’ packaging

It takes for ever to separate the tab from the cellophane and then merely peels off a tiny slither of plastic, leaving you to angrily tear it open with a knife.

 

 

Getting lemon juice in your eye

There can be no fruit that gets sworn at more than a lemon.

 

Getting fluff on nail polish

You’ve done a perfect paint job when a speck of fluff appears from nowhere and settles in the middle of one nail, meaning you have to start again because, as we all know, it is impossible to remove nail varnish from just one nail.

 

‘You don’t mind coins do you?

Always uttered when the assistant is already unloading 19 pound coins into your hand.

 

 

Forgetting to turn the dishwasher on

You loaded it full of greasy dishes, but when you go to empty it the next day you find a machine full of smelly crockery and a detergent tablet sitting patiently in the drawer.

 

A tissue in the wash

One tiny tissue was it all it took to leave all your laundry covered in white specks. To add insult to injury, you know that it’s going to take at least another three loads before anything comes out tissue-free.

 

Shoulder bags that won’t stay on

Any bag on a long strap will always fall off when you are loaded down with shopping and unable to hook it back so you have to carry it dangling in the crook of your elbow.

 

An invisible snag on your finger nail

It’s catching on your tights and in your hair, but no matter how many times you file your nail you can’t seem to get rid of it.

 

Loo roll that shreds

The edge is glued down so you try and pick it free but a tiny strip comes off, so you try again until you’re left with something only suitable for lining a gerbil’s cage.

 

Getting an itchy nose while washing up

Trying to relieve it with your shoulder hasn’t worked so you’re going to have to stop, remove the rubber gloves and scratch. And however careful you are, you’ll still get bubbles on your nose.

 

Misjudging kettle water levels

You boil it for a nice cup of tea and somehow there’s only enough for half a mug. By the time you fill it and reboil, the half mug you have will be cold and stewed.

 

Never-ending phone menus

You just want to speak to a human but first have to work your way through six different phone menus - only to be told they are busy and you should ring back later.

 

People who ‘reply all’ on emails

You only know the person who sent the email, now 30 of her friends are sending you their round robin ‘funnies’.

 

People re-pressing the button at a pedestrian crossing

You arrive at the crossing at the same time as someone else. You press the button first and they immediately press it after you. You know how to press a button!

 

The battery running out in your remote

You shake the handset, wave it around, press the buttons six times or - horror of horrors - get up and manually switch channels.

 

Useless ribbon loops sewn into clothes

Supposedly they’re for ease of hanging but all they ever do is pop out of your clothes and flap around your neck. And then break if you use them to hang the darn thing up.

 

Cold-callers asking for security details

The man on the phone probably is from your bank - but you didn’t ask him to ring, and you’re certainly not going to give him all the information he is stroppily demanding before he can attempt to sell you something you don’t want anyway.

 

When the screen freezes at the end of your online order

It’s taken you an hour and now all you’ve got on screen is that little blue circle of doom as you wait to see if your order is being processed. You risk hitting ‘refresh’ and the whole thing is lost.

 

TV channels that synchronise ad breaks

Your favourite show has gone into break, so you have a flick - only to find adverts running on every single commercial channel.

 

Pavement hoggers

Groups of friends who walk three abreast totally blocking your way, but then give you a filthy look when you try to get past them.

 

Car park hasslers

Commonly found in supermarket car parks at Christmas time. They want your space but never leave you quite enough room to comfortably reverse out.

 

Getting a full bag out of a pedal bin

If you’ve let the bag get too full, it somehow becomes vacuum-packed and the only way you can release it is to unpack half its contents.

 

When another driver doesn’t thank you

You’ve let them out in front of you and receive not so much as a wave or nod. You can only hope they see your menacing glare in their rearview mirror

 

 

When the wind blows your hair into your lipgloss

It’s stuck there until you whip it away leaving a trail of pink gooey gunk across your face.

 

Tangled wire hangers

Loved by dry cleaners, loathed by the rest of us. Trying to separate them is enough to send you into a fury to rival Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest.

 

Fast food faffers

They’ve been waiting for ten minutes in McDonald’s, yet when they get to the front of the queue they don’t know what they want.

 

Trying to work new fangled loos

Taps you wave your hands under, loos that flush while you’re still on them and hand dryers so powerful they almost take your skin off. When did using a public lavatory become such a minefield? - Daily Mail

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